Rev. Asa Mahan, D.D.

Chapter 11

THEN AND NOW.

BY THE REV. HENRY BURTON, B.A.

I followed Christ, but with divided heart,

With one hand only did I grasp the Cross;

I served Him not with all my powers, but part,

And knew not that my gain was all a loss.

I toiled among the furrows of the field,

I cast the seed with ever-patient care;

But when the harvest gave a scanty yield,

I found, too late, that I had lacked in prayer.

I stood beside the altar day by day,

And offered, as I thought, the sacrifice.

The whole, the perfect offering was it? Nay,

It was a blemished gift, "part of the price."

Self was in all my plans, in all my deeds,

And through my life the "I" was written bold;

'Twas not in Christ I trusted, but in creeds;

I grasped the dross and flung away the gold.

Duty was only duty, harsh and stern,

(Though love can bend a cross into a crown,)

But ah! love's fires had scarce begun to burn,

My strength soon wasted and my hands hung down.

And thus I lived, a joyless, shadowed life,

Because I turned from Him, my only Light;

Instead of trophies won I had the strife,

Life was a dimness, neither day nor night.

But when I turned and gave up all to Him,

My powers, my talents, and my stubborn will,

There broke upon my soul an angel's hymn,

As the sun rose beyond Penuel's hill.

The sky was steeped in heaven's eternal dawn,

And in its light the very clouds were gold;

The shadows melted in the rising morn,

Disclosing joys and blessings manifold.

The cross, from which my weakness shrank before,

Now seemed transformed into a waving palm;

The rod, that made me smart in days of yore,

Now blossomed into fragrance and to balm!

No longer was it self, the "I," that wrought

The proud weak self was crucified and slain;

Jesus was all in all, and I was nought,

But losing self, I found eternal gain.

It was no longer duty bade me go

Or here, or there, to do my Lord's behest;

The fires of love burned with so warm a glow,

I found in suffering joy; in service rest.

Now all is peace; for when the tempter tries

To fill my soul with sad, unquiet fears,

My faith looks upward to the watching skies;

The tempter vanishes; for Jesus hears!

Heaven touches earth as onwards now I go,

Hasting to reach the city of the blest;

What waits me over there I do not know;

But here, with Jesus, it is joy and rest!